I think everyone has felt the difficulty of socializing with others sometimes. Basically, I am loyal, independent. And other sides are selfish and stubborn.
My personality will make it difficult time to accept other people’s advice.
That is so, I feel bad because I cannot take advice from people.
Because I rarely accept advice given to me by others. For that I feel like I don’t have enough room in my heart to accept their opinions. Well, this is my personality. I have a lot of pride and it has something to do with it.
Maybe, when I think someone is right to tell me. But I need to have taken enough time with it. Or the thing is that at least I need to try it first. And eventually, I can accept their positive advice.
Because the person giving the advice does not accept it, especially if it is something that has not been tried and seen, because the advice itself is not accurate.
However, I have a hard time accepting negative advice from anyone.
For example, I decided on new things and purpose. And saying quit a job, go wandering abroad or change my career. I thought this could be a big change in my life. And I know there is always a risk to try new things. I talked about it to my friends and they gave me a negative answer.
Such as he or she advised me not to do that at all even though I’ve never tried it yet. Why they recommended it is not because he or she thinks about my career. It is worthwhile and that it is a waste of time.
Okay, another example here.
I told my friend about my experience of someone who was upset when I warned him or her who was cutting in line. When I told him about it, he said, “That’s because you’ve been licked.” And I was like, “what the hell?” I thought he would be my ally. But I received a negative attitude. And I never tell him something that I thought was a good thing I did in my life or anything.
When I think about my personality deeply, I need to take care of my condition.
I realized that I was uncomfortable with people who had negative opinions.
I was told by people that something I liked or wanted to do then they said that it was wrong. And try to change my opinion which something that they believed. Some people may take it as, “You don’t have to worry about that.” Fundamentally, I don’t think anyone likes to be denied your thoughts.
From my experiences, I once advised an employee. “If you do it that way, it won’t work.” I may have rejected her way of doing things. Because it didn’t work that way. At the time, I remember she cried because she couldn’t do it the same way I did and it wouldn’t work.
I thought my advice was a good thing for her, but it was also my ego.
It was like I wish she’s going to have better sales for her sake. But she didn’t want to be and It was just that I wanted to give advice to her. It is all my perspective that I want to be a good manager for her.
If she wanted to get a reference for my opinions, I should give her. But if I wanted to give it to her, that is controlling her. I learned that from my experience. That is if I think it will be a good thing for people to do what I think but sometimes it goes opposed.
Most of the people who give negative opinions and advice to others are not trying to make the other person feel good. They want to feel good about themselves to change and manipulate us instead.
They are trying to look good for their sake. It may be to defend their position. Even if we don’t notice sometimes that it is to force your own thoughts and feelings on the other person. After she cried, I thought what I did to her was very arrogant to say.
What the other person does not want is not good for them either. What we need to help them is take them so they should think for themselves.
And of course, it is one thing to warn someone about something they should not do. It is such as not keeping a promise or committing a criminal act.
Is it for them to reject your opinion and put your own opinion over theirs?
Something like people have entered your house without your permission. And they suddenly say that it is a horrible painting and deny a picture of your room which is your value. Because they want to tell their worth, and give a shit on you.
Is it really for the other person’s benefit to deny and try to correct things? When we deny someone, it is usually when we cannot accept things as they are.
And at the same time they are not satisfied with themselves. That is why saying something negative gives others a good feel.
I have come to think that what we really need to pay attention to is our own feelings toward the other person.
See things as it is and don’t deny it, let it be. Love shouldn’t hurt.
The same goes for work, friends, and relationships.
It is not real kindness or love to deny or correct someone.
You don’t have to force things to work out.
Just accept the person who they are and don’t control them by your ego. People just need to watch over him or her so that they can live his or her life in his or her own way. If they ask us to help, then we help them with our knowledge, love and forgiveness.
I think that is the best thing to do.
After you can follow this to not judge them at first point. You can really help them with your kids, your partner, your friends, and all of the people around you. It needs a patient.
You know we sometimes completely don’t notice what we give to someone’s feel harsh. I saw so many bad accidents to suicidal news because social network destroy them value and what they believed. Someone just doesn’t care what to say to people and they don’t take any responsibility for that.
Please note that under below the word:
- Perhaps my words or yours may make a person into a worthless person.
- Maybe my words or you may be making a person sad.
- probably my words or yours are killing people.
Words, no matter how small, can destroy self-esteem. We should be careful to use our words. Even if it is a good thing for your friends, it is maybe not for them sometimes. They don’t want to hear your advice or opinions.
We are all very sensitive and vulnerable.
Recently, I was asked a question about what it means not to judge people. My answer was about “not judging people based on what they have.” But now I changed and it was “not to deny people’s personality and accept all.”
We should protect our own hearts and thoughts. If we are not protecting at all, someone knows it and manipulated you. You probably need to consider the other person’s intention to not give your opinion in the first place. And you do not need to be forcibly grateful for them.
What you really need to be is what you really need to do is that don’t be distracted by things like, “I should be thankful,” or “I’ll be happy while I’m being told.
When you give advice to others, you need to help them when they ask for it without first thinking of yourself.
Whether at work or in love, you can enrich the people around you and your own heart by first understanding them and not imposing only your own opinion on them.
I hope this article will help your relationships, work environments, and love your kids.
Thank you for reading.
To related an article: Love is Knowing True Hearts with All Their Hearts